Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Lesson

True to my ENFP nature, I believe in expression of feelings.  Healthy expression of feelings.  (That encompasses more than what this post will offer -- maybe in another one.)  It's vital for intimacy in relationship.  But it's regrettable that we so often sacrifice that depth in our important relationships, because we are afraid of or uncomfortable with such expression.  Most of us weren't taught it growing up, because our parents weren't taught it, and so on and so on.  The worst is unexpressed or badly expressed anger.  When we don't express anger, but repress or ignore it, it goes "underground."  And then it comes out in passive-aggressive ways, which damage our relationships.  I've read that passive-aggressive anger is the most common unhealthy expression of feelings we engage in.  (Best book on anger that I've read:  The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.)

I heard a motivational speaker once say:  Write down all of the emotions you feel during a typical week, positive and negative.  Then look at them.  That is a gauge of your life;  your emotions are your life.  Do you like what's on your list?  (Another post for another time about how we have the power to choose our emotions in any given situation....)

One emotion I need to feel often in my life is inspiration.  ENFP's need a lot of inspiration.  I watch films over and over that encourage me, I am moved by touching songs, I cry a lot in church, and I read and reread stirring passages in books.  This is something I'd like to share:

From interpretation of the 3rd verse of the Tao Te Ching

"Remind yourself daily that there is no way to happiness;  rather, happiness is the way...
Desires can produce anxiety, stress and competitiveness and [we] need to recognize those that do.  Bring happiness to every encounter in life, instead of expecting external events to produce joy."
Source:  Change Your Thoughts -- Change Your Life, W.Dyer

How simply and easily stated, but how difficult to remember and embrace on a daily basis.